


Do I Kill the Monster?

by MrAudioDrama



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Abuse, Baby Benten, Baby Juno, Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Frozen AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Manipulation, Other, Sarah Steel is a Bad Parent, Will update tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23119957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAudioDrama/pseuds/MrAudioDrama
Summary: Frozen AUSarah Steel was many things, but she was not magic. So how was it, she wondered as she raced through the forest, that one of her precious babies froze his stuffed animals when he sneezed. How did he lower the temperature in a room when he cried, and why did it snow when he got sick?
Relationships: Benzaiten Steel & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. The Baby with White Hair

Sarah Steel was many things. A Queen, a mother, strong, determined, easy to anger perhaps. She was not, however, magical. So how was it, she wondered as she raced through the forest, that one of her precious babies froze his stuffed animals when he sneezed. How did he lower the temperature in a room when he cried, and why did it snow when he got sick? Why was his hair white, and his eyes blue? Sarah held her baby close, convinced he was sick, but the doctors could find nothing wrong with Juno. 

The trip to visit Buddy and Vespa, leaders of the Rock Troll tribe closest to Hyperion, took longer than Sarah would’ve liked. Juno was freezing cold in her arms, and while he looked unbothered she couldn’t help but worry about her baby feeling like he’d been born in a blizzard. 

After arriving where Vespa had instructed her to go, Sarah’s heart dropped at the sight of an empty clearing. “Hello?” She shouted, listening as her voice echoed throughout the trees, “Please, it’s Juno. I don’t know what’s wrong”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt a rumbling in her feet. Round boulders rolled into the clearing one by one, surrounding her. As they unfurled Sarah found herself growing concerned. She had never seen the Rock Trolls like this, so confused and worried. 

“Your Majesty” Vespa unfurled, “we were worried this day would come” she reached up towards Juno as Buddy stood up next to her.

“For how long?” Sarah handed Juno over to the trolls, she didn’t truly enjoy letting anyone else hold her newborns quite yet but if they could explain what was going on she would allow it. 

“Since he was born, darling” Buddy brushed her hand lightly over Juno’s forehead, “Babies aren’t just born with pure white hair every day, you know”

Rage as pure as hellfire coursed through Sarah’s veins, “You didn’t think to tell me that one of my babies was at risk” her teeth were gritted, and Juno was making soft noises as if her tone were the most upsetting thing he’d ever heard.

“Calm down, you’ll upset the babe” demanded Vespa, cutting a sharp look upwards. “We would never leave a child in harms way”

“Then why pray tell, did I find my nursery nearly frozen over “ her rage refused to quiet, her blood running hot. How much of this could have been avoided, how much was the fault of these trolls and their bad communication tactics?

“We could not guarantee when, or even if, his powers would manifest. The babe is in no real danger, anyhow. These powers are a part of him, darling, no different from breathing or eating” Buddy threw some dust into the air and began to explain, “Juno is not a baby with magic, he is a magical baby”

“Prince Juno” gritted out Sarah, if they were going to deceive her then all courtesies were to be thrown out the window.

“Apologies, your majesty,” Buddy’s gaze flickered up towards Sarah but the Queen promptly ignored it. “Prince Juno is made of magic, there is no way to reverse how he was born. If he doesn’t use it, there will be consequences. His emotions will get the better of him. Give him an outlet, my dear, or risk the consequences”

“I didn’t come here to be lectured” Sarah bit, taking Juno back into her arms. Good, he was warmer. “I came here for an explanation, and as the Queen of Hyperion I demand what I have asked. Why did this happen to my baby”

“You know why” Vespa’s blunt voice sounded like a slap to the face, “You can’t run away from the past forever Sarah Steel. The spirits demand their due, and your child will no doubt play a part” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, how dare you speak to me this way” Sarah’s voice burned with a fury the trolls had never heard from her. “I am Queen Sarah Steel of the Kingdom of Hyperion. I will not let you drag my babies into a conflict I had no part in”

“You need to calm down Sarah, this isn’t like you” Vespa shot a worried look at the squirming baby. Ice crystals shone off of Sarah’s dress, slowly climbing up as they formed patterns akin to the most crystalline snowflake. 

“Don’t presume to know me” Sarah shouted, and such is the straw that broke the camel's back, Juno began to cry. Ice shot out of his hands and onto the ground below, coating his mother's tunic and the ground in front of Buddy and Vespa in a layer of pure white ice. 

Juno’s wails continued as Sarah’s rage simmered, her eyes burned with rage but they went soft as she slowly bounced the baby in her arms, shushing him and humming a lullaby she learned from home. As Juno calmed, the ice began to melt off of the tunic and thus soaking it through. One would've thought this would be uncomfortable for a baby of Juno’s age, but the baby merely snuggled closer into his mother’s chest.

“This is what we mean, darling” Buddy reasoned, stepping closer to the Queen, “Strong emotions will be dangerous without regular use of his powers”

“I don’t care about that” Sarah’s voice was more of a whisper now, “I want to fix this”

“We cannot undo what is done, your majesty, we can only help you navigate your way to the future” Vespa whispered in kind, but when she attempted to move towards Sarah, the Queen stepped back. 

“Then what is the point of you” she hissed, backing towards her horse. She saw the upset looks in the faces of her allies, her friends. She simply couldn’t bring herself to care. 

“Your majesty I implore you to wait,” Buddy tried, “I’m sorry we could not supply the answers you wanted. As my mother used to say, tough pebbles, we can still help you in other ways”

The look in Sarah’s eyes only hardened, Vespa knew they would get nowhere tonight, “It’s okay Buddy, she needs time” They watched as she mounted her horse and rode off towards the castle.

“Are you sure they’ll be alright, dearest”

“As sure as hope will allow me to be” Vespa chuckled, pressing a kiss to Buddy’s hand. Sarah Steel disappeared into the distance, they could only hope she would return soon.

Sarah herself, on the other hand, had no such plans. She rode to the palace as if there were dogs on her heels. She made sure Juno was secure of course, but she wanted to put as much distance between the trolls and her baby as soon as possible.

They had been absolutely useless. She did not wish to know how to manage these powers, she did not want her baby to deal with them at all. The lyrics of her lullaby echoed through her head, but she shook them away. Her children will have nothing to do with old legends and curses, they will live the happy life she so desperately wants to give them. 

When she arrives back at the palace, it is night. No one, not even the palace guard, is there to ask where she’s been. That’s good. No one needs to know. Although she should increase staffing if this is how easy it is to sneak into the palace.

She carries a sleeping Juno throughout the halls, pressing a kiss into his hair every minute or so. She surveys the pictures on the walls, the past of Hyperion stares back at her. There has been no magic in the royal line of Hyperion, they were proud people. They refused to rely on anything but their own natural born strength when fighting, and it got them very far. What would their grandfather think if he could see his grandchildren? Not only that, what would her father think. She found there was no way for her to know.

Juno fisted a hand into her tunic, and her thoughts came to an abrupt halt. She pressed another kiss into his hair, quieting him, and then turned into the room she had left Ben in for the night. Her own. 

Ben was sleeping softly, his thumb tucked slightly into his mouth. She smiled at the sight and moved to pick him up as well. The nursery should be defrosted by now, and Juno had let off a lot of magic for such a little body. They would be safe there.

She laid Ben down first, “Goodnight my little Benzaiten, sleep well darling boy” but he was already asleep, most likely having never awoke since she left in the first place. 

“Okay Juno,” she lifted him into the air, eliciting a giggle from his little face. His big brown eyes stared at her in delight, “Is my little one ready to go to bed” letting out a little chuckle when Juno yawned. She set him down and sat next to his crib, stroking his hair lightly and lulling him to sleep.

“Just you and me against the world, huh, my little monster?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno grows, and surprise players enter the game.

Juno Steel, contrary to what you might have thought, did not spend the first few years of his life knowing he was magical. All he knew was that he had to “Hold his tears in for Mommy” and that at the end of the week they went to a special room and she let him talk about everything that troubled him until the room had been frozen over.    
  
“Why’s it cold Mama?” Juno had asked when he was around three, tiny hands hitting the iced-over walls. Mama gives him a look, but he can’t tell what it means. Mama only looks at him like that when he cries during the week, but he’s not sad right now, he’s not crying!

“Well you see, little monster,” arms open in invitation, “When people like us get sad, the world gets sad too!” she chuckles, white hair bouncing around as he tottles over towards her.   
  
“Like us?” he collides with her chest, giggling as she turns him around. He loved the end of the week. Mama always got upset when he got teary during the week, but she  _ never  _ got mad here. His emotions were like fireworks like most toddlers tended to be, they were loud and bright and intense all at the same time. It was  _ hard _ , Mama. His words wash over her in a terrifying wave of regret every Sunday, but she disregards them. He would learn with age and discipline, and he and Benzaiten would be safe. If she had to yell at him throughout the week, if she had to put him in corners, or take away his toys, it would all be worth it.

“Royalty, silly boy,” his laugh rings like the most angelic church bells as she tickles his stomach. She takes a breath, toddlers will believe anything she reminds herself, “When I get angry... it  _ storms _ ” her hands squeeze his sides on the last word and he lets out a delighted squeal. They wrestle for a while longer, Juno shrieking out “Mama!!” and Sarah laughing as he giggled and squirmed.   
  
The laughter dies down on a sharp decrescendo, “Mama?” Juno’s small voice seems even tinier as she feels his cold hands grab at her dress, “Not a boy, Mama”    
  
“Oh?” the silence hangs in the air like ice crystals on a cold winter’s day, she wants to give him space here. It’s clear this is something he’s thought about, as much as a three-year-old could. For him to have come to a decision on this, she’s really quite impressed. Proud of him even. Not only did he wait until the end of the week, but he hadn’t gotten upset at anyone throughout the week about it.    
  
“Doesn’t feel right,” he’s growing more confident, patterns forming in the ice beneath them. They swirled and twirled, connecting and separating like a stone skipping on the water. Juno giggled when he saw them, “M’ like Sash! Ima Lady!” Juno’s smile after that could’ve lit up all of Hyperion. He looked up at his Mama and beamed, she wasn’t angry! No storms!!!    
  
“Okay, my little lady,” she stood, lifting him up with her, “we’ll get all this sorted out among the courts tomorrow. I pinkie promise!” Ice swirled through the air when she interlinked their little fingers. That’ll be the last of that for the week. 

Prince Juno became Princess Juno overnight, and figuring out the rest of his preferred terminology just came with checking and getting a “No, Mama!!’ Or a “Yes, Mama!!” in return. Juno’s wardrobe was partially picked by him after, a healthy mix of gowns added to his little suits. It delighted him, and Sarah noticed that his happiness shone brighter now. His tears no longer flowed like waterfalls, his cries no longer shattered windows. His smile never failed to improve the mood of everyone around him. He was comfortable, happy, and ignorant of his magical potential. 

Unfortunately, Sarah had needed to ‘fire’ her advisor after some choice words. In his place stood Jack Takano. She wasn’t thrilled about having to inform someone else of Juno’s...  _ unfortunate birth defect _ . But he had backed her on all of her other decisions, he was one of the most dedicated and loyal members of her court.    
  
She entrusted the twins' care to him when they turned five, she trusted him with them more than any other person in the kingdom. It wouldn’t do to put a babysitter with them, what if Juno got upset? What if he lashed out and something happened to Ben?   
  
Princess Juno Steel found out he had magic when he was five years old, the first time the Queen had to attend a diplomatic meeting in a neighboring Kingdom and the twins were left alone. 

As it turned out, Jack Takano was  _ not  _ a trustworthy man. He had been granted entry to the court after years of crafting a title that the Queen would find acceptable. It had been a month before the twins were born, and he nearly hadn’t survived the round of firings that had followed.    
  
Jack Takano, was an  _ actor _ . The picture of an obedient advisor, only ever agreeing to the Queen’s whims. He wanted more than anything to disagree, but he never did. For the reality of the situation was that Jack wanted the crown. He wanted  _ Hyperion _ . He wanted it with every fiber of his being. 

Do not mistake this man, however, he has no moral justification for this. The Queen had never  _ wronged  _ him. In fact, disregarding her temper, she had done a number of good things for Hyperion. Her staff wasn’t entirely fond of her, but everyone knew the people were. He merely believed he could do  _ better. He believed _ he could fix  _ all  _ of Hyperion’s problems if he was...  _ tougher  _ on crime,  _ stricter  _ on policy. He would make Hyperion the safest place on earth, no matter what it took, all the while playing the role of the heartbroken advisor.    
  
A man like that, finding out that the Princess is comprised of unstable magical energy, would be amiss to give up such an opportunity. The Queen, hiding such a scandalous secret? Killed by a  _ monster  _ she had been protecting the people from? The ignorant advisor who would’ve done something if only he’d  _ known _ . It weaved together the perfect story, picturesque almost. He would go down in  _ history _ .

It happened like this. Picture a pair of crying children, running after their mom as she separates from them for the first time in their short lives. The advisor chases after them slowly, letting them get their time with their mother. She crouches down, tells them to be strong for her, which only serves to make them cry harder. She smiles and gives them both a tap on the nose and a quick hug. If you’re the advisor, and you’re really looking, you would see the sheen coat of ice forming on the mother’s sleeve, you would see the grip on the smaller twin’s arm tightened, and see the mother whisper words into his ear. You would see the tears on his face dry up, as he straightened and grabbed his brother's arms.    
  
The mother leaves after that, leaving a pair of heartbroken children behind. The advisor takes their hands and leads them inside. “Do you want to know a secret?” he asks them, leading them into the empty ballroom.   
  
“Yeah!” Benten cheered, jumping in boundless excitement at the prospect of learning something new. Juno’s response was more subdued, as if someone had lowered the volume on his emotions. He smiled, but it was impossible to tell what that it was directed at, his brother’s excitement, or at the advisor’s proposal.   
  
“Well, my lady,” he kneeled down and brought them around to face them. Their eyes alight with curiosity. Even Juno had been hooked at this point, after being directly addressed. He wasn’t ever just Juno, practically inseparable from Benten and his mother. He couldn’t wait to get older, he’d told Jack once, he wanted people to address him directly more often. No one cares about 5-year-olds, the princess had insisted, not you though Mister Jack, you’re different!    
  
“Don’t leave us hanging!” Juno huffed, his foot kicked at the floor as if it would cause time itself to move faster. Jack smiled at him, lifting a hand to ruffle the lady’s hair and chuckling at the annoyed whine he gets in response. It’s a shame, he thinks, that this child would have to either be arrested or executed in order for Jack to achieve his goals. He’s really rather fond of him.    
  
“Did you know that you, dear princess, have magic?” he gasps for effect, but silence hangs over the room. Juno shoots a look worth a million words at his brother, and Benten shoots one back. Then they’re both... laughing? High pitched giggles filling the room, bouncing off the walls and crashing into each other. 

“That’s-” Benten cuts off with another giggle that would charm even the coldest hearts, “That’s ridiculous Mister Jack!”   
  
“And really funny!” adds Juno, grabbing his brother’s hand and knocking into him like he’s the only thing in Hyperion that could keep him on the ground.    
  
“Juno,” Jack’s voice lowered, “Have I ever lied to you?” he had of course, told many lies to the child. Every time he told him to just trust his mother, that he cared about him, and about ninety percent of the time he told the lady he was right about something. Jack Takano was consistent only in his ability to manipulate. It was a fact he was comfortable with, and he took pride in the fact that Juno’s giggles disappeared, that his face contracted in thought.    
  
“But Mommy said it was the spirits...” Juno trailed off, his mind working a double shift to attempt and connect the dots, “Mommy wouldn’t lie!” Juno’s foot stamped on the ground, incidentally causing a small bit of ice to accumulate on the ground underneath him. Sarah had taught him well in realms of restraint, it was quite impressive for a five year old.    
  
“Spirits?” echoed Benten, years of time with his sibling fractured. Benten didn’t know anything about spirits! That wasn’t fair! Why did Juno get to know about them? Jack had not intended on causing friction between the twins, not even flawless acting can account for the unpredictable emotions of children. They change as quickly as a summer’s breeze. Benten’s eyes grew wide and filled with tears as he looked towards Juno in what Jack assumed was the closest thing to betrayal the young Prince had ever felt. If only he knew.

“Didn’t Mommy tell you?” Juno’s hand became colder in Benten’s, he was scared. It looked to Jack as if Juno was on the edge of a realization that he didn’t want to come to, his eyes wide and his grip on Benten’s hand tightening. He supposed it made sense, finding out that you’re being treated differently, that your mom who you trust with your entire heart could be lying to you. Jack sucked in a calming breath, he could handle this.    
  
“Children,” he chided, “that’s why it’s a secret! Your mom doesn’t even know” It was a lie, of course, but if the children told the Queen... he imagined that would be the end of more than just his career. They both looked at him in confusion, it had never occurred to them that there were things their mother didn’t know.

“But I'm  _ not  _ magic, Mister Jack” Juno insisted, releasing his brother's hand as if it had burned him. It might’ve, at the rate Juno’s skin was cooling. The princess took a moment to study his hands, and then quieter he added, “I would know,”

“Do me a favor Juno. Think for me.” Jack took one of Juno’s hands in his own, “Do you want to build a snowman?” He remembered watching Juno play in the snow last winter, the way he and Benten had delighted over the snowman they’d worked on for an entire hour. It was one of the lady’s soft spots, and Jack was betting on it being just enough to make Juno release some magic. 

“Well-” Juno started, but before he could finish, blue light shot out from his unoccupied hand. Where there had been nothing before, stood an inexplicable snowman. He sat atop a mound of snow, with limbs and eyes made of ice, nearly an exact replica of the snowman he’d made with his brother months prior.    
  
“Wow!” exclaimed Benten, rushing over to the snowman with eyes alight. “Juno, how’d you do that!” he poked at the snowman, giggling when he made a little indent in the snow.    
  
“I don't... I don’t know” Juno pulled his hand out of the advisor’s and studied them both, pointing his hand at the wall and releasing another shot of blue light. The wall quickly coated itself in a fine layer of ice with an illustration of Ben and Juno playing etched into it, “Mister Jack, how am I doing that?”

“Magic, my lady” Jack grinned, “You’re a very special child, Juno” he slowly stood, looking down at the children. He took a strong step towards the wall as if each step he took towards it was one step closer to destiny itself. 

“I have to tell Mommy,” Juno said, throwing his hands up in the air and giggling when the moisture in the room turned into soft snow and floated back down to the floor. He’d made it  _ snow _ ! “Benten, do you like it?” the Princess didn’t care about many things, he didn’t need to. He was only five after all. But he did care about his brother's approval, perhaps even more than making his mother smile. So when Ben rushed over and hugged him, the snow froze in place for a moment as if it was Juno’s breath itself. 

“It’s amazing!” Ben let out a squeal before letting go to inspect the frozen snowflakes. Juno let out a breath after and gave Benten a smile as wide as the sky, the snow resuming a light descent down to the floor. 

“No, I fear it is best to... keep this between us for now” Jack turned to face them, standing directly in front of the iced wall. “Your mother works with very dangerous people!” the children have both stopped laughing by now, looking up at him with wide,  _ trusting  _ eyes. Children were such fools, “If one of them were to find out what you can do, well...” his fist slammed into the ice, Juno’s eyes filling with fear as he watched cracks spider throughout his design as it shattered onto the ground, “You don’t want  _ that  _ to happen, do you?”

Juno shook his head vigorously, reaching out to grab Benten’s hand once more. He held on like his life depended on it, he couldn’t lose Benten! He  _ couldn’t!  _ “We have to keep it a secret from Mommy to... protect her?” he questioned, pulling Benten closer to him.    
  
“It’s unfortunate, but it will be our little secret” Jack picked up a broken piece of ice and let is weave in and out of his fingers, giving the children a small smile, “Just between us”

Yes. Their little secret indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Twitter or Tumble @MrAudioDrama! I would love to talk to you!

**Author's Note:**

> Come Yell at me on Tumblr or Twitter @MrAudioDrama
> 
> I would love to talk to you or take your story prompts~


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